ARE YOU IN A RIGHT RELATIONSHIP? By Kingsley Simeon

One of the important question you should take time to ask yourself is if you are truly in the right relationship. People get it all wrong when they start making permanent decisions over a relationship that has not been put to test. For a relationship to stand the true test of time , it must be put to test. Love is not everything you need for the sustainability of your relationship.

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            I often  advice people to define their closeness to others before creating a castle in their heart, some persons  will/ may take every inch of your moves seriously when they are carried away by a quality in you, this action has given birth to a whole lot of problems and conflict in most homes. Let your closeness be genuine.

Steps to know if you are in a right relationship or not:

1.      Define your closeness: before you start speaking in another tongue of how much you cannot do without a friend, try to understand the reasons for your closeness. Ask yourself what brought you close to him/her? As an individual don’t also be carried away when someone starts those long sermon on how they cannot do without you, ask them “why they choose you”? Don’t be too quick to dance to a virtual reality when you are yet to put every feeling to test. Some people are like I love you the way you are, I am nothing without you, you are my happiness and the reason I breathe, the truth is that people can say anything when they are desperate, they can say the things you want to hear. the real ones may not have the right words but their actions speak more for them, they lack the ability to compose poems but all they want is the real you and not a copy.

2.      Dedicate your time: Time is everything in a relationship, you must be patient enough to put your feelings to true test. Whatever attracts people to you will determine if they will go or stay in your life. Take time to study about your relationship, don’t assume everything is fine until proven otherwise. Know the language of your partner i.e. try to understand the “love language” as suggested by Gary. Your friend had a life before you met, you must try to align your principles with theirs for you not to encounter issues at last. Don’t allow your friends desperation to push you into confusion, allow your feelings to pass through “time test” before you sell your heart to the wrong person. Be mindful of people who would want to fix you to suit their ingenuity, who would want to make you what they want you to be for their selfish ego. Maintain an open-mindedness if you want the best.

3.      Demonstrate the right quality: this is the point where people fail, for you to enjoy anything real you must be real. Don’t pretend to keep a friend no matter how much you care about them it doesn’t work that way. If there’s anything about you that needs attention you can work on it patiently before toiling with someone’s emotion. Don’t package to be who you are not. Create room for improvement in your life, every successful person will tell you how much they don’t know it all. When you create a wrong impression about you in heart of someone who took you for something else it will be difficult to make it right. I strongly advice that you remain positive and create room for improvement in your relationship. You are original and not a photocopy

4.      Declare your excitement: there is uniqueness in everyone, whiles you enjoy a palatable relationship you must indicate the traits that makes you excited about your partner. Ask yourself this questions 1. How excited am I when he/she comes around me, 2. Am I really into him/her? 3. Do I experience peace when he/she speaks to me? 4. Do I appreciate the qualities in him/her? These points should determine the continuity of the relationship.

5.      Don’t be afraid to quit: Don’t be scared of loosing someone who has never been true to you, don’t be scared of letting go of people who don’t deserve your reality, don’t be scared of displaying your attitude and traits in your relationship, this is the only thing that can stand the test of time. Insecurity has driven people into to fake identity. You don’t need to tell lies or pretend to be appreciated. Just be you and remain real. Remember there are people who will accept you for who you are.